I did, but I don’t
by Katie Coleman
Summary: He looks at her for a moment, studying her. “But I thought… You know, with the whole… ‘Do demons tell you the truth’ thing, that maybe you…?” A night spent at the Roadhouse wreaks havoc and brings more pain upon him than it ever should have.


Title: I did, but I don't

Author: Kate

Length: 656

Category: Gen

Summary: He looks at her for a moment, studying her. "But I thought… You know, with the whole… 'Do demons tell you the truth' thing, that maybe you…?"(Enough said)

Rating: PG

Warnings: Sort of implied Dean/Jo

Disclaimer: Come on, do you think that if I owned this, Dean would be falling for _anyone_ else but me?

"I did, but I don't"

He can't remember when he started to feel this way; doesn't know where 'little sister' stopped and 'lover' began. It's like an endless loop, escaping all grips of reality for a second that's only long enough for him to notice.

She's there—she's _always_ there—by the bar side, throwing down shots with the hunters she's always wished she could be, laughing off humorless jokes as the others drink themselves into the night. She knows when to stop, though—she isn't stupid—and he barely sees her take more than a sip of her third drink.

He's by the pool table, deep eyes glistening as he watches her; watches something that he was never destined to be. A drunken hunter winding down after a 'job' challenges him to a game, and beats his ass because his heart's just not in it. Not this time, not tonight, while she's standing there in all her glory, an open invitation that he's too afraid to take.

In his mind, he counts and tallies every single person that would kick his ass if he _did_—Sammy, Ash, _Ellen_. He'd be gone, for sure. She'd probably never let him inside these four walls again, _ever_. But for that, for _her_, maybe he's willing to take that risk. He watches her slide behind the bar and tip more whiskey into a glass.

Sam's sitting at the bar, arm in (yet another) cast after (yet another) hunting 'incident', his glass, half filled with beer, perching on the bar top. He's watching the interaction between the hunters at the end of the bar, watching Jo as she tips alcohol into a glass and hands it back to a man, sees the twang of jealously on Dean's expression, though God knows his brother has tried to hide it. They always used to joke how nothing could get past him.

He turns to Ellen and smiles, offering his glass for a re-fill, and hopes-to-God she hasn't seen. The expression on her face tells him that she has, and he thinks that if looks _could_ kill, Dean would have been dead on the floor a long time ago. She takes his glass to re-fill it, handing it back to him without a word. Sam offers her a small smile, but it goes unnoticed and he takes a sip of his drink.

He glances back towards his brother, who's caught someone else's eye and is motioning backwards with his hand. _Oh, God, no._ He spins around to see if Jo has seen, but she's already making her way towards the elder Winchester, coy smile on her face. Sam watches the scene unfold as though he's riveted to the screen; Jo's nod, Dean's wave, motioning backwards towards the storeroom… _No, God, please don't have let Ellen have seen that._

And with a slight nod to the man next to him, Dean and Jo stride off, hidden amongst the crowd, though Sam knows exactly what's on his brother's mind. He shoots a glance to Ellen, but she's busy serving someone in a white 'make music, not missiles' shirt. Tourist, he guesses, because she sure-as-hell doesn't look like a hunter, but at least Ellen hasn't seen Dean's antics.

"_Jo," He whispers. _

"_No, Dean," She shakes her head. "Too… complicated, okay? I can't do… this." _

_He looks at her for a moment, studying her. "But I thought… You know, with the whole… 'Do demons tell you the truth' thing, that maybe you…?" _

"_I did." She sighs. "I did. But I don't. Not now. Too hard." _

Sam watches with resignation as Dean makes his way out of the storeroom, followed closely by Jo. Grit rises in his throat, and he catches Dean's eye for a second; but the second is long enough to detect the hurt in his brother's eyes. _No_.

"Ellen, you've got a real smart kid, you know that?"

The older woman turns and smiles at him, "I know."


End file.
